I don’t want to boast, but I’ve developed a couple of superpowers.

One is telekinesis. I have not learned yet how to control it, but when I do, I plan to use it to serve the world.

I noticed this new ability sometimes last year when things I carefully placed where I would remember and find them, started vanishing, only to reappear a couple of days later in a different room. Glasses, phone, keys, suction cups (I’ll explain later, maybe), meds, scribbled notes and phone numbers. To tell the truth, a few things have not reappeared, and this is keeping me humble.

The largest item I telekinesied was my car, a little Korean thing that looks like every other car manufactured in Asia and Tennessee. I found it 72 hours later on an entirely different floor of an entirely other parking lot than the one where I’d left it. It was unlocked and nothing was missing, so it wasn’t theft.

The smallest was the tiny little ball that holds my ear-ring in place. I had to remove both before a recent surgery and though I know I left them on the nightstand next to my bed, the ball vanished without a trace.

One-half a chocolate chip cookie rematerialized under a couch pillow, but a partially eaten chicken breakfast burrito was never seen again.

I have mentally repositioned one shoe—dress, black—and one glove–not dress, red-and-white. Also, two oranges, a banana, a sack of Planter’s mixed nuts, and a small plastic tray of sushi from H-Mart. The latter worries me a bit and I hope whoever finds it doesn’t eat it.

One of my favorite sweat shirts is gone as well, but there is a strong possibility I lent it to an friend who also may have my Daffy Duck socks and my copy of The Morning of the Magicians.

The second superpower I have developed is invisibility, and I am told many men and women in my age range have the same ability. Younger people do not see us, our grey hairs and slight paunches. They are in an entirely separate universe, I think, and possibly have shielded themselves from disturbing visions of age.  After all, when you think of it, who wants to really see their future?

Case in point: This morning I walked out of my building and a young woman plowed straight into my path. She bounced off me, looked up from her phone, smiled tentatively and said, “Gee, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even see you!”

About epiphanettes

Writer, songcrafter, possibly the best French pedal steel guitarist in Virginia.
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