I’ve been asked to write a Trump piece for a Francophone magazine, and realized in the middle of the night that I would have to curry favor with Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the present White House Press Secretary. Recently, Ms. Sanders told reporters at a briefing that they’d have to share something for which they were grateful (it’s coming on Thanksgiving) before she’d answer their questions.
Some buckled, others didn’t. I will.
Ms. Sanders, here’s what I’m grateful for:
- I’m grateful that the US is a resilient country with a lot of momentum. It will survive anything large and orange.
- I am grateful for everyone who has helped my writing—editors, other writers, writers’ groups, beta readers and critics.
- I am grateful for the friends who have driven me to and from cancer surgeries and chemo. You know who you are, and I appreciate your tolerance for my endless bitching about health issues, and for listening to medical people offer embarrassing facts about me post-op. Thank you for not snickering too loudly.
- I am grateful for the hordes of doctors, nurses, and nurses’ aides who have treated me with professionalism and gentleness.
- I am grateful for the people who made promises and kept them, and said ‘always’ and meant it.
- I am grateful for the people with whom I make music.
- I am grateful for the families that take in orphans during the holidays and serve something other than turkey. I am particularly grateful for those that serve steak without stuffing or marshmallow-covered yams. Thank you thank you thank you.
- I am grateful to H-Mart for selling decent oranges when everyone else is trying to palm off fruits that look like Jivaro shrunken heads.
- I am grateful for my Korean rice-burning leased car. It always starts in the morning. I couldn’t say that about any other car I’ve ever owned.
- I am grateful for the Peruvian Super Chicken restaurant, where they give me my money’s worth, and more, and smile as they ladle an extra serving of brown rice, free of charge and without my asking.
- I am grateful to Marie Jones, the almost homeless lady who recently befriended me and who truly knows the meaning of gratitude.
Thank you, one and all, and Happy Thanksgiving, or as we say in French, Jour du Merci Donnant.
Ms. Sanders, now can I have an exclusive interview with the big D? He isn’t exactly popular among French speakers, you know. I’m not making any promises on changing that, of course. Actually, to be honest, I don’t think anything short of a full body transplant will help him, but I’d be grateful if he could give me an hour or so of his time. I won’t ask any hard questions, like What is the capital of France. Promise.