Tonight for dinner I had three different types of microwave noodles. I could call it a taste test but it would be more honest to say I simply didn’t give a damn what I ingested. It has been that kind of a day, that kind of week.  All three packages took an average of three minutes to cook, all three were rather gelatinous, and none tasted like it should have, that is to say noodly.

All three were very salty.

The Nissin Hot & Spicy Bowl of Noodles is chicken flavored, and features a drawing of a happy rooster, possibly because no chicken was harmed making this product. The meal, to use the word loosely, came with a Soup Booster. I should have mixed it in after microwaving but I was too lazy, so I did it before, and it’s conceivable that I ruined it, but I doubt it. It also came with a small clear package of dry vegetables that looked suspiciously like what I feed my hamster Archie.

Kraft Velveeta Shells and Cheese is made with 2% milk cheese, and I idly wondered what comprised the other 98%. The pasta looks like kernels of corn with all the good stuff sucked out. To call it a meal would be a falsehood. It is three bites once cooked, and was the only product that came with a fire warning. Apparently, pasta and Velveeta are flammable. I did not know this.

The third and last delicacy was Singapore Sesame Ginger Street Noodles from Simply Asia. From a packaging standpoint, there was a certain elegance to the presentation. The noodles came in a little rectangular plastic kit, one that I may reuse since I am sort of anal retentive about keeping leftover containers that I will throw away two months from now when the contents turn green and fuzzy. The Simply Asia people have good copywriters who promise the product will transport you to the Faraway East, but why bother, since the Faraway East just came to your microwave. Of the three this was the tastiest product but not one I would recommend for expediency. I had to add two packets of ingredients, and two tablespoons of water. The latter was a hassle since I lost my measuring spoons during the move, so I settled for one soup spoon.

Total intake: 610 calories with a whopping 2000 milligrams of sodium.

Bon appétit.


About epiphanettes

Writer, songcrafter, possibly the best French pedal steel guitarist in Virginia.
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