Hamsters, Part II

“So apparently my name is Milou.”

“Like the little white dog in Tintin? You could do worse. They could have called you Snoopy or something equally ridiculous. Like Marmaduke. Or Odie.”

“I suppose. Unfortunately, Milou makes me Belgian.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. The guy who created Tintin and Milou was Belgian. Hergé.”

“I am soooo sorry.”

“I’ll survive. What your new name?”

“Archie.”

“Like Archie Bunker? Or that red-head teen-ager in the comics?”

“No, no. Archie Goodwin.”

“…”

“I forget. You don’t read. Archie Goodwin is the narrator in the Rex Stout series.”

“Rex who?”

“Oh. My. God.”

“Let me remind you that Rex is classically a dog’s name.”

“Milou, I’m not named Rex. I’m… Oh, never mind.”

“Did you smell the cat?”

“Cat? Oh. Yeah. Old cat. I’m not worried.”

“I don’t like cats. Cats have a tendency to mistake us for mice.

“We’re not mice. We’re hamsters. Roborovski hamsters.”

“Yeah. Like knowing that’s going to stop the cat.”

“It’s a safe cage. He can’t get in. Like I said, old cat, and he won’t be able to jump very high.”

“It’s not a bad environment. Archie. Jeez, I can’t get used to calling you Archie. Anyway, a little too much stuff though. I mean, two platforms, three stories? I don’t need all these complications. Give me an exercise wheel, a water bottle, a food bowl, and stuff I can burrow in and I’m happy.”

“I’m almost certain it was the guy who bought this contraption. Guys always want to show off, so they by complex stuff to assemble. If it had been the woman, we’d have this nice, single-level suburban home.  But it’ll be fine. We’ll make do.”

“I sort of wish he wouldn’t come over and stare at us every three minutes. It’s disconcerting.”

“We’re new. He’ll get used to us. Just ignore him.”

“Ignore him? That monstrous nose half an inch from my face? Easy for you to say. You’re nearsighted.”

“Just turn around. Don’t look at him.”

“Then he’ll stare at my butt.”

“Live with it.”

“Jeez, Archie, I wish we were back in China.”

“China? You’ve never been to China!”

“But it’s where we come from. The famous Roborovski hamsters! The Gobi! The Great Wall. The food!”

“In the wild, we live for six months if we’re lucky. There are hawks and crows and nasty things that will eat us. Here we’re going to have two to three years. Enough to do stuff, to be creative! To make a lasting impression; to make a difference!”

“Making a difference!That’s a thought! That’s a great thought! I wanta make a difference too!”

“Me. I’ve already figured out what I’m going to do.”

“Yeah? What?”

“I’m gonna write a book. A novel.”

“A novel! Wow!”

“It’ll be on the secret lives of two robo hamsters in a cage in Virginia!”

“Wow!”

“We’ll be famous! Just watch…”

“Wow!”

“We’ll be doing talk shows! NPR, Diane Rehm!”

“Wow!”

“It’s gonna be great!”

“Yeah! Archie?”

“Yes, Milou?”

“What’s a novel?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About epiphanettes

Writer, songcrafter, possibly the best French pedal steel guitarist in Virginia.
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