It’s hard to write today. I’m sitting at the computer with three unfinished novels, a couple of short stories I want to polish so I can post them, and a magazine assignment due in a few weeks.
I’m blanking.
There are bills to pay, emails to send, a cat to feed, yardwork that need addressing so my home doesn’t look like an abandoned house.
I’m not doing any of them.
I have the first of five chemo sessions in a few hours and can’t seem to focus.
This both angers and frustrates me; I had promised a week or so ago not to write about cancer or a while. I’m tired of it. It’s like reading about Donald Trump. I’d prefer not to deal with Trump or cancer for a little bit, although even as I write I see similarities between the two.
I don’t like chemo, though I’m fortunate. Mine is nowhere near as invasive as what some friends have undergone. I don’t have a semi-permanent port cut into my body. My treatments are relatively quick, as opposed to the hours-long ordeals some must go through. I’ll get tired, maybe a little sick, but Arielle has promised cake after the session. Chemo-cake, we’ve taken to calling it.
And there are things to look forward to! I’ll be going to the theater in a couple of days, and to a gathering of writers and editors. There may be a trip to New York in the offing and some fascinating writing projects are on the horizon, including a play and a new book. My agent has actually gotten in touch with me! All good stuff.
Undoubtedly I’ll feel better when this session is done.
Mind over matter.
Acceptance without resignation.
Blah blah blah.
I think I’ll go feed the cat.

About epiphanettes

Writer, songcrafter, possibly the best French pedal steel guitarist in Virginia.
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One Response to Blah…

  1. So sorry to hear you’re feeling glum. But on the upside, you get cake!

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